John Kerry Found With Mouth Duct Taped

Sen. John Kerry was found today with his mouth duct taped, hilarious:

Borowitz Report—Sen. John Kerry (D-Mass), the 2004 Democratic nominee for President, was discovered today in a broom closet at Democratic National Committee headquarters in Washington, his hands bound behind his back and a strip of duct tape over his mouth.

The discovery of Sen. Kerry ended a nationwide manhunt after the former presidential candidate vanished Tuesday afternoon en route to an appearance on CNN’s “The Situation Room” with Wolf Blitzer. …

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