A Redneck Writes To President Obama

This here’s funny:

A Redneck Writes To President Obama

By Anonymous

What would a letter from a redneck to President Obama look like? Possibly something like this …

Deer Press-uh-dent Oh-bomb-uh:

I gist wonted two right a few lines two say congress-adulations on your new job and two pass along a few requisites from some kinfolk.

Cousin Ed, who is reel smart and helped me right this here letter cents he made it all the way threw the fifth grade and all, said he would appreciate it if you could keep Press-uh-dent Bush’s War on Terriers going cents he never could stand those rascals. (I’m more of a blue tick hound dog man, myself.)

Cousin Fred wants two no if one of those new green jobs you are planing might include making green moonshine. He’s got lots of experience in that area and seams write sure he could make the whiskey green gist by adding a little peat moss two it.

Cousin Jed is a teller at the bank. He has lots of experience handling money and wants two no if you need sum-one two help add-men-uh-stir that there economic stem-you-less package everybody is jawing about.

Cousin Ned is the only one in the family with inner-net ax-cess. He said he has herd a hole lot of bad stuff about you, and he is going two move two the South Pole (sense it’s probably a lot warmer than the North Pole). He says if things turn out okay up here, heel gist sneak across the Mexico boarder and hitch a ride back home.

Anyway, that’s about all fur now. Come sea us when you can now, you here?

Your Friend in Redneck County, Hicksville, USA,

Billy Bob Joe Bubba Brown

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NC Mystery Lights Computer Enhanced

Florida and Arizona are not alone. A computer enhanced photograph of mystery lights that appeared over North Carolina are revealing more detail than anyone had hoped as evidenced by the photograph below:


Maybe I was a little bored today.

The photograph was created using Cox and Forkum images.

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John Kerry Found With Mouth Duct Taped

Sen. John Kerry was found today with his mouth duct taped, hilarious:

Borowitz Report—Sen. John Kerry (D-Mass), the 2004 Democratic nominee for President, was discovered today in a broom closet at Democratic National Committee headquarters in Washington, his hands bound behind his back and a strip of duct tape over his mouth.

The discovery of Sen. Kerry ended a nationwide manhunt after the former presidential candidate vanished Tuesday afternoon en route to an appearance on CNN’s “The Situation Room” with Wolf Blitzer. …

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Picante Crime Scene

Sunday afternoon, I was getting our table ready for some burritos. I went to the fridge and took out a bottle of picante sauce and shook it up. Man, picante sauce went flying everywhere! Someone—eh, could have been me—didn’t screw the top on tightly and when I shook it, the stuff went flying everywhere. I was furious but after a while I calmed down and started laughing about it. Our kitchen looked like a murder scene out of some low-budget horror flick with gore slung onto the walls, the table, and the floor—practically everywhere.

Just thought I’d pass on something funny for you on a Tuesday afternoon. And we did finally eat our burritos that day.

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A Boston Butt

I was talking with my Mom last night and she happened to mention that she was cooking a Boston Butt. I asked her who, Ted Kennedy? We both had a good laugh over that one.

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